Written by Margaret Hardisty on 23 May 2010
MARRIAGE – SAVE IT? OR GET A DIVORCE?
Both Audrey and Owen had refused to read our books and material. They were too angry, too hurt, too anxious to blame one another for their marital problems. So I suggested that Audrey go to see Fireproof, a movie that focused on a troubled marriage and what the guy did to save it. I was hoping that she would then take her husband, Owen, to see it as well. My hopes were dashed after she saw it and said, “I don’t want Owen to see this. He might start trying to do those things and my mind already is made up. I want out.”
Further conversation revealed that she felt that once her marriage to Owen was over, she’d marry the guy she’d already found, and if that didn’t work out, she’d go find another. Whereas she had been committed to her first marriage for 18 years, now she wasn’t committed to much of anything except finding someone with whom she could sleep.
Had Arianna known Audrey, Arianna might have been able to paint a picture of the future for her. Arianna and I met at a small church we were attending when our children were small, and since our kids were about the same age, we arranged play dates for them, taking turn at each other’s homes watching them.
One day over coffee she said, “Life has not been easy for me, Margaret. I’m on my sixth marriage, you know; plus I’ve had several affairs – some with married men.”
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Tags: Abusive, affairs, baggage, Dirty laundry, Get a Divorce?, marriage counseling, marriage counselor, marriage help, marriage problems, mentally ill, merry-go-round marriage riders, Save marriage, save their marriage, Saving marriage
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Written by Margaret Hardisty on 20 April 2010
DIVORCE – MARRIAGE – DIVORCE – MARRIAGE…
Some people feel that if they never live with someone outside of marriage, it’s okay to divorce if their expectations aren’t met and then get married to someone else. Why bother to save a marriage if the going gets hard and, heaven forbid, if I can’t have things my own way? If the second marriage is a bummer, then how about a third – and then a fourth and so on? It’s kind of like looking for the Fountain of Youth to search for lasting happiness in that way. It isn’t going to be there.
Certain celebrities are notorious because they’ve been married numerous times – like Elizabeth Taylor, a star of the past who was one of the most beautiful women of her time and played in many notable movies. Did she even try to save any of her marriages, even those through whom she had children? Or, if she tried, did her spouses?
We’ll give her this one: She always married her interests, rather than just living with them. Of course, that sometimes meant she had to snatch them away from their wives. At least that was true in at least one case when she lured singer Eddie Fisher away from his then wife, Debbie Reynolds, another actress.
Taylor either has kept other liaisons secret or she’s changed her thinking where marriage is concerned. She reportedly has been living with a guy for a long time at the time of this writing but now, supposedly, is thinking she’ll take her 8th leap into matrimony.
Then there is the mixing up of marriage and lovers, all at the same time. Larry King, for instance. Still married to Shawn Southwick in his 8th marriage, senior Larry supposedly has been having an affair with his sister-in-law, Shannon Engemann, for the past five years. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: adultery, affairs, Debbie Reynolds, divorce, Eddie Fisher, Elizabeth Taylor, famous, happiness, Larry King, lovers, marriage, marriage counseling, marriage counselor, marriage help, marriage problems, rich, Save marriage, Save my marriage, save their marriage, Save Your Marriage, Saving marriage, Saving your marriage
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